Thanks Clarity. You're right. I was on the "climb the Orgazational ladder" fast track when I started doing the deep research that made me question my beliefs. The momentum is unbelievable though, especially when you're in an area where help is needed. I just kept piling on the responsibilities and assignments. Now I'm in so deep. If I leave, there will be a gaping hole. When we miss even one or two meetings for vacation or sickness the friends come up and say how much they missed us and how they wish I would have been able to handle this part or that assignment. Flattering and heartbreaking.
We wanted to switch halls a couple of times but right when we are about to pull the trigger, a young MS/pioneer couple moves away, an elderly servant dies, or an elder's family goes into crisis. Then we end up picking up even more responsibilities. We are a shrinking hall and all of the brothers are maxed out with duties. Last year an elder from another hall tried to recruit us to their hall. Our PO overheard the conversation and clearly stated that we are needed here and that they can't lose us.
The shortened public talks have helped. I was happy to cut out a big section on 1914 and the 144,000 from one of my outlines.
Miz, Cuz see, when I say "after the meeting", I'm not lying because I'm generally ecstatic that the meeting is over. You can do that with Service Meeting parts too. Instead of saying, "isn't field service invigorating?", you can say, "don't you feel good after you're done with field service?" You do feel good "after" field service, cuz you hated every second of it from the time you got up in the morning, to meeting with the group, to knocking on the doors of an apathetic neighborhood. I needed that laugh! Thanks!
Sometimes I look out in to the audience at the blank faces and I just want to cry. I want to say, "I have doubts. Maybe you do too. It's OK. God isn't going to destroy us for it. Let's start talking about this stuff together."
